Saturday, September 13, 2008

The Door: the question of when . . .



When exactly? . . . For years, she longed to know.

How would she know it if she came upon it? The Door that is.

When was the moment of self-discovery? Moreover, what exactly about this moment is so singularly transformative? She would struggle for years to answer this question. Now at last she held the answer - It is that in discovering who you are, and laying claim to that knowledge, you gain the power to see the world as it is and to be exactly where you are in it. Shame, and the loathing that was its companion, drained away completely, seemingly quite beyond your own volition to bid it leave. And with them, you had impotently ordered “her” gone, so many times, in so many places, and over so many years.

They departed, not dramatically, but surely, definitively and with a sort of measured grace that left in their wakes the conviction that they were never coming back. Gone was the lie and the dissembling which forever surrounded the imperative to protect that lie. In the possibility and the power to transform one’s self you discover the power to be present for another. For every moment that would advance you beyond this open door now receding rapidly behind you, you would hold the power to be seen for who and what you are.

You would be free . . . completely whole and lacking nothing. It was to be by your own hand and your own heart that you would posses it.

She gave to you a key thirty-eight years ago. You placed it into the lock you knew would be there, and to your surprise - for it was always only your imaginings that engendered this hope, it opened.

© 2008 Renée Thomas all rights reserved

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