At What Cost?

Despite the knitting together and healing of the dispirit threads of the self which follows transition, one is never separated from the real cost of making this journey. If you possess at all a sense of responsibility, of guilt even, for those you deeply love who could not make the crossing with you - to transit this boundary alone leaves scars. For us and those who loved us, they are scars that will never
fully heal. To those who will choose to follow,
we tell a cautionary tale.

A wise woman I know has offered . . .

" . . . Somebody (else) needs to say this--

Sometimes being your "authentic self" is really goddamned hard, and winds up stripping the bark and most of the leaves off a person, leaving them, you know, hysterical raving naked. I am surely no advocate for mendacity in life. But therapists--and lots of people--accept that "living your truth" is its own reward. True enough. But it's its own punishment too. Sometimes."

-Jennifer Finney Boylan

I subsequently expanded on her thought . . .

"I would add with real respect and empathy that unless your therapist has walked in the shoes of "Live Your Authentic Self" he or she doesn’t really know what they're suggesting. Be sure -be goddamned sure, because losing everything is a very real possibility. While it’s true you can and will survive, it can often be a very lonely walk. Whatever strength I may have gained in all of this I would gladly give back to again rest peacefully in my former partner’s embrace and proudly revel in the accomplishments of our children . . . first hand.

I would spare you that pain . . ."

-Renee Thomas


With sincere thanks and gratitude to Jenny Boylan

Renee Thomas ©2010 All Rights Reserved